Who am I

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Facts about myself.

(112) In my very infant age I was all concerned about playing with dolls (not weapon), singing female songs.

(111) It fills me up with so much love when a female representative looks at me with a sincere smile and her eyes expressing concern. It leads me toward tons of adrenalin in my head, enpowers me and I feel like energy goes through the roof.

(110) Am I the only one who feels dumb after 10-minute calculation of an integral and finally getting zero? :)
(109) I gotta stop sitting there and criticizing everyone around. Even if they don't try to learn. I must use every available moment to learn and improve myself. Not teaching everybody else, but see evil alive and avoid repeating it myself.

(108) Sometimes I come up to a choice when I should either be sincere and honest OR be polite. And these two patterns happen to be quite opposite.
(107) I gotta be confident about my true instincts and concerns and never be ashamed even if other people try to suppress those in me. I believe their hostile behaviour is caused by an intention to protect themselves: best defence is an assault.

(106) I gotta get rid of false objectives/ aims and investigate true thorough personal ones.

(105) In a conversation I always try to demonstrate what I smart guy I am. Which is pretty pathetic.
(104) I'm such a cheapscate in communication that I always try to assure myself that people like me and crave talking with me, but in fact I make them miserable and feeling mean about themselves.
(103) I'm jealous enough to be driven to desire things I don't actually need – I just believe they will bring me people's attention, love, energy, ... For instance, I always try hard to look like a hi-tech guy (electronical locks on my doors, cool video player Zune, and so on) which in fact consumes extra time for maintainance.

(102) I sometimes deliberately keep being naive and resist getting knowledge, because I want to demonstrate personally that one can live happily and fullfilled without being a nerd.

(101) In the moment of ejaculation, while those several seconds last, I'm so worried about whether I've locked the door into my room or forgotten to.
(100) I sometimes long to be sick and think about some hard diseases so that I don't need to work on myself and look for what it is I want to achieve, but merely struggle against that disease. It's very bad and sick way to spend my time. Gotta be strong and grateful for what I have.

(099) In fact, I love flourishing green streets exterior design, houses.
(098) I'm probably *so anxious* about providing resources and well being for everyone because I am myself suffering from poverty and I know how it feels, so I can save people in future from being poor.

(097) I stop appreciating answers to my solely own questions when I get them at low cost. Like a small answer book coming along with the task-book. If I have one, I tend to get the answer from outside instead of trying to solve the task.

(096) I often don't use time to selfanalyze deliberately because I know it's hard and takes patience and attention. Instead, I just entertain myself (watching movies in majority of all the cases).
(095) Tea makes me going, but it pollutes the brain that there is no clarity left in it. Without tea I'm less capable, but more clearly thinking.
(094) Loneliness may feel bad only if I'm bad. And if so, than it is the only way to live untill I become enjoying my company, so that company would also enjoy me (no pun intended :)
(093) I can only learn from flawless leaders. The moment I find a flaw, I become judging them.
(092) Government is tending to make us civilians get paid just enough to but a night food, so that at the morning we would againgo to work to slave for food. This way we're completely manageable slaves.

(091) There is no truth in easy happiness (when I just have people's care and help).

(090) When I'm sleepery and all deep within my head I always so lazy that workout seems to be the dumbest thing in the whole world to do. But if I'm willingly strong enough, I do workout and it feels SO GREAT and cool, that I thank my will and my muscle memory to be stronger than brain rationalization and smameless laziness.

(089) I feel that many people in management are afraid of happy and joyful employees.
(088) I sometimes deliberately lead myself into situations where I can get hurt. Just to feel misery and then appreciate what I'm able to have.
(087) I use movies to induce missing emotions and feelings from my personal/ professional/ spiritual life. I use stored in videoemotions and feelings and so on.
(086) I'm afraid of going to work at different time that all people do – because it pulls me outta crowd.

(085) I experienced 2 completely different ways to apply silence in conversation: first way encourages and shows enormous dignity to the speaker, and second way very politely but tremendously clear shows that a the speaker is worthless piece of shit.
(084) I feel people around the office so much lacking attention and a little love that when a tiny opportunity knocks to their (my) door, they (I) completely aggressively demand it and behave like crap.
(083) Being in a crowd of people I sometimes get too much questions bombing my brains. And I just wanna yell, or stop it! My buffer is going to rip into pieces!
(082) I'm sometimes not willing to acknowledge that music people listen because it means I did not find it earlier myself! But, man, it's actually great that I lived witout such a drug pretty happily and joyfully. Worse if I'd discovered it earlier and was said. It would mean I used more resources and produced less outcome.

(081) I'm afraid of demonstrating HAPPINESS and DELIGHT at work. Partially because co-workers think I can't be happy while working, so I'm afraid of insulting them. But that's wrong – I gotta demonstrate efficiency while being happy :)
(080) I'm afraid of demonstrating people what a freak I am :). It seems I can scary them so-o-o-o bad.
(079) I'm afraid of being productive and working hard because I don't bring enough food and eventually get rea-a-a-a-aly hungry.
(078) I'm afraid of going to sleep if I hadn't eaten. I guess main problem here is that at the morning I workout and can't eat right after I tear my ass off the bed. Apples is a great solution here.
(077) I lack attention in the office, so I deliberately walk around the office and talk to people.
(076) I'd rather be HAPPY than RIGHT.
(075) I make girls communicate with me directly if they wanna get some information from me. And I rudely react if they try to cheat on that. But I'm willing to do literally anything for them if they behave like Ann from kindergarten.

(074) I always ignore mom's “attempts to help”. Because I look at herself and see how miserable she is. And it seems to me that she can't teach me or other people to be happy and successful. She obly teaches me how to be miserable. And I belive that she knows it, but keeps repeating her behaviour because of the habit.
(073) I believe I'm the cauze of being miserable, because misery is the easiest emotion to get and it is quite strong. Much harder to make myself being in love, happy, strong, rich, successful 'cuz (a) lazy people will be jealous of my success and (b) lazy people will blame myself.
(072) Afraid of myself (I'm afraid to acknowledge what it is I like because I feel that I'll unconsciously kill that interest and make myself miserable).

(071) Making people feel bad about themselves when they actually should feel good about themselves.
(070) Not seeing I'm wrong.
(069) Longing to make good.
(068) Longing to thank people for communicating with me.
(067) Longing to be good and grateful.
(066) Longing them to forgive me.
(065) Feeling sorry for being and asshole.
(064) Making people sad on purpose.
(063) Punishing people on purpose.
(062) Being an asshole.
(061) Offendin people on purpose.
(060) Doing wrong things.
(059) Feeling incredible happiness of living this life and given this opportunity.
(058) Afraid of self-analysing.
(057) Coward.
(056) Brother.
(055) Envious.
(054) Jealous.
(053) Lacking to pay attention.
(052) Film maker.
(051) Lacking to listen instead of talking.
(050) Lacking knowledge.
(049) Lacking skills.
(048) Capable.
(047) Powerful.
(046) Strong.
(045) Leader.
(044) Love the entire Universe (on occasions).
(043) Child of God.
(042) Wanna provide resources for my family and other people.
(041) Wanna present my family a nice big house.
(040) Wanna build ecologically clean vehicle to use in everyday life.
(039) Wanna excuse myself and excuse everybody I'm mad at.
(038) Wanna love myself.
(037) Wanna give credence to myself.
(036) Wanna obtain high intuition to be capable of making efficient decisions and navigating through my life in a productive way.
(035) Wanna eliminate water pollution on this planet.
(034) Wanna eliminate air polution on this planet.
(033) Wannabe living my life fulfilled.
(032) Longing to answer my questions.
(031) Longing to understand and find what I am best at.
(030) Longing to help.
(029) Longing to enlighten people.
(028) Longing to create.
(027) Longing to provide.
(026) Longing to contribute.
(025) Longing to improve ecology.
(024) Self-figuring out human.
(023) Bachelor.
(022) Student.
(021) Undeveloped lazy kid.
(020) Sleeping God of the planet.
(019) Emotional addict.
(018) Love delicious food.
(017) Sex addict.
(016) Jogging addict.
(015) Bicycle addict.
(014) Born in Krsk.
(013) KLSh participant.
(012) Russian.
(011) Grand-son.
(010) Son.
(009) Ivan.
(008) Communication addict.
(007) Travel addict.
(006) Man.
(005) Trans-sexual (seeing merits in both genders).
(004) Upside down walker.
(003) Programmer.
(002) Perfectly gifted by the Creator human.
(001) Incredibly capable creature.